Derailed (2002)

Van Damme has had a career of ups and downs. He started well, much like others of his ilk (Seagal et al) with movies fondly remembered, Bloodsport and Universal Soldier, and like others when trends changed he started to struggle to find quality work. But he made a comeback! JCVD is great!

This is before the comeback.

Not to be mistaken for 2005's Clive Owen movie of the same name

The problem with this film is not just the plot. It's silly schlock, but still. JCVD is a high tech bio-weapons agent on holiday with his family, when shock horror, a job comes up. He must escort Galina Konstantin - defecting, I guess - to safety carrying bio weapons. On a train. Then the bad guys show up because of double crosses! Then his family show up because of plot convenience!

Okay, everything is pretty much lifted from other films. Part 'True Lies' (1994) and part 'Under Siege 2' (1995) the plot offers little. But hey, it's an action movie. As long as that works, then all is good.

Van Damme always has a good fighting style. He's always up for the challenge. The problem here is space. And direction. There is no space for the martial arts as every notable fight scene is on a train, and the direction is fast. I mean really fast. The average length of a shot is 1.53 seconds.

You can't tell what the fuck is going on.

And then there is the budget.

Hornby must've made money on this.

Toy trains. Seriously. This is the train from the movie. 

There are virtually no practical stunts. 

Everything is made of a screen of green...

And then there are some ... interesting ... plot holes. Like the secret agent on a train, who swapped compartments in secret. And then his wife and kids just turn up.

He's supposed to be a banker. How did they know he was on this train? How did they know what compartment he was in?

How come smallpox vaccines are so easy and quick to manufacture?

How come his son survived?

We want answers, dammit.

Alright, we don't.

*sigh*

This film is terrible.